Imposter Syndrome

 Imposter syndrome is a real and very prevalent thing that I have felt in past situations. I did not fully understand where I had felt like an imposter before completing this lesson. There have been times during fieldwork and when presenting assignments and ideas to others that I have thought that what I was bringing to the table was not going to be good enough or that I did not know how to do something good enough to perform it on someone in the real world. And you can ask my husband, I am not the best at taking compliments or high praises for something that I have done. It's something I really need to work on. The Clance IP Scale showed that I had had moderate IP experiences in the past with a score of 45 and I think that is pretty accurate for myself. The highest score that I gave a question was about being afraid to fail at a new assignment or undertaking even though I generally do well at what I attempt. This is very true for how I feel in many situations. When I'm about to do something new or am going into a new situation that I've never been in before, I seem to have some anxiety thinking that I might not be good at it. I like to do things that I know I am good at and more than likely will not fail at. I really liked one suggestion of writing professional goals for yourself just like you would a client so you do not become stagnant with your performance and are continuing to grow as a practitioner. I need to do this to push myself out of my comfort zone and to get me to do new things that I never have before. I think this topic is very helpful to study and become more aware of so we can come up with strategies to overcome these feelings and know that we belong where we are and have worked hard to get there. 

Locus of Control

 Locus of control is the idea of where you think the forces are coming from that control your life - either internal or external. It is a continuum with people in all levels throughout it. If you have a more internal locus of control, you are positive and believe the decisions that you make in your life are the largest influences on what happens, but you can be very critical of yourself as an outcome. If you have a more external locus of control, you believe that the things that happen to you are out of your control, whether good or bad, and you can't do anything about what happens. This can cause people to blame others or not take credit when credit is due to them.

When taking the Rotter's Locus of Control Scale, my results indicated that I am closer to the end of the internal locus of control which was not a surprising result to me. I have always known that the actions and choses I make are going to be what guides my life for the most part. I am not unrealistic in thinking that things can't happen that are out of my control, but overall, my efforts along with actions and choses will and have made my life what it is. Along with that, I am a Christian and believe that the largest external force on my life is God and what He has planned for me, but I believe that he gives me the ability to choose right or wrong. So I think it takes a balance to understand that most things in your life can be controlled from internal forces, but at times, external forces can effect you for the good or bad when you're not expecting it. 

For my future clients, I think this is an important concept to understand because they could be from anywhere on the continuum, possibly from one extreme to the other. Something that I could imagine a very internal locus of control client doing is refusing treatment all together because they think they can fix themselves or refusing to use equipment that could be beneficial for them to use. This could cause us to use a lot of persuasion to show them how what we are offering could help them. Or you could have the flip side of internal locus of control where they think they have to work themselves 24/7 to get better and don't allow themselves any time to rest. Then you might have someone that is a very external locus of control client and they think that we need to do everything for them and even though they are not doing their exercises at home, it is still our faults for them not progressing in the way they want. Or you could have someone that thinks they have the worst luck ever and, no matter what they do, bad things are always going to happen to them so there is no point in trying. These ideas would not be beneficial for any of the clients and we need to know how to help them in the most understanding and holistic way considering their thoughts and beliefs while still helping them as much as possible. 

Media Project Reflection

As I started this project about my client Maurice, it was hard for me to pick just exactly what I wanted to do. I would think of one thing and then speculate that it wouldn't be a good option because he wouldn't be able to do "fill in the blank" or had problems with "fill in the blank". I think my ah-ha moment came when I thought to myself, "when I'm out in the field with a client, I will be able to physically be with them and see their abilities and that's just not possible in this situation." So I digested as much of the information as I could, and finally decided that I would do something that integrated in multiple aspects of Maurice's symptoms and problems and do the best I could with the written information I had. I focused on what the client's main goal was at the time, which was going home, and problems he had like his speech, expressions, low vision, and movement. I turned my assigned material (a Pringle's can) into a multi-use media that could help Maurice hopefully maintain some strength and ROM in his arms and legs by making it into a very very light weight that could easily be tied on to any of his extremities. Also, on the outside of the can, I included hopefully easy to see numbers from 1-10 for pain level and simple yes/no/maybe responses that he could point to if he was having difficulty communicating that day. On the top of the can, I also included some drawn emoji's with faces that could maybe help to get across how he was feeling if he couldn't show the expression or emotion and couldn't verbally express it clearly as well. 

I think that now I have an even deeper understanding of Parkinson's disease and the difficulties that come along with it. I researched a lot about the disease, the stage that I thought Maurice was in, and how I as an OT could help him in his current state. I also learned that sometimes great ideas aren't just going to pop in your head right from the beginning, but the more you search and find out about the client and the condition, the more you will be able to bring to the table to hopefully help the client. From this assignment, I will always take with me that you need to make sure you educate yourself on the condition the client is dealing with. Also, to always account for the many factors that every individual person will have based on their lives, diagnosis, and symptoms. This assignment really made me think and intensified my already huge want to know and understand more and to prepare myself to help my clients as much as possible.
 

Neuro Note #5

For my last neuro note, I chose to watch a video about a lady named Holly who was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. She was diagnosed in August 2015 at 40 years old while being a wife and mother of 7 children. She had complained to her primary care doctor for a few years about feeling fatigued, but thought that it was just from getting older and everything that she had going on in her life. Then, she noticed something new. Primarily while watching TV at night and at some other times, Holly was experiencing double vision but didn't know the correct word for what she was experiencing. She tried wearing glasses for this new vision problem, but they didn't seem to help any. Also, she had noticed some frequent bouts of choking that she found to be unusual and alarming. She went back to her primary care doctor and, after figuring out that what she was experiencing was double vision, he diagnosed her with MG and referred her to a neurologist. The neurologist ran blood work that came back normal but from her symptoms he still thought that she had MG. Holly was then given medication that she was told to take when her symptoms arose and if the medication worked that would confirm that the diagnosis was correct. One day when she was experiencing double vision while driving, she took some of the medication and she said when she could see the individual leaves on some beautiful trees that she was passing instead of just green blobs, she knew that the medication had worked. 

The neurologist first thought that she had ocular MG, but over the next year her symptoms progressed very quickly. She wasn't able to stand to wash dishes, cook dinner unassisted, fix her own hair, speak clearly or sit with good posture, and her family didn't allow her to go places by herself because she needed help walking and lifting things. After seeing this progression, she was then diagnosed with generalized MG and given new medications. After trying different medications that caused severe side effects, Holly received an IVIG treatment before a surgery unrelated to her diagnosis. This treatment made her feel great and she knew after being able to cook Thanksgiving dinner that year that this was the treatment for her. She received it for 5 months with the last treatment being in March 2017. Her and her family moved across the country for her husband's new job and she hadn't established a new place to receive her treatment. All of her symptoms had gradually came back over the few months without treatment, but she was optimistic about the future and hoped she could start getting it again soon. 

Her biggest advise to others with Myasthenia Gravis was to learn as much as they can about the condition and to always have an advocate that has your medical information and knows about the condition as well. She said there were times where she was so debilitated that she couldn't communicate with medical personnel and they might not always know how to treat a person with MG. Also, she said just because a doctor doesn't see all your symptoms in one appointment doesn't mean that you don't know what your talking about and that it is all in your head. Listen to your body and don't be afraid to speak up when you know something is wrong. Holly is a very brave and inspirational woman and I hope that she has since been able to get the treatment to help her live a more functional, productive, and enjoyable life. 

Resource:

Raremark Health. (2017, July 13). Holly's story: My experience with MG treatments. [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8mF1sL5ZMM

Neuro Note #4

For my fourth neuro note, I watched a video on Youtube entitled "Living with Huntington's Disease". I chose this video because this is the next condition that we are studying in our course and I don't know much about it and I think watching videos of people in their everyday lives with these conditions really can open your eyes to what they have to go through. The video was from the perspective of a caregiver. Tammy Stewart takes care of her brother, Mike, who is in the late stages of Huntington's disease. He is almost fully dependent on Tammy and his mother, who also helped some, for making his food, helping him walk and transfer, and helping with his ADLs. He could still feed himself with adapted utensils, walk with a walker and assistance for safety, and communicate in barely understandable one word responses. Huntington's is a genetic disease and it is very apparent with this family. Tammy and Mike's father and sister had passed away from the disease, Mike is in the late stages, and Tammy, unfortunately, had got the diagnosis as well and is in the early stages. It gave the statistic on the video that a child has a 50% chance of having the disease if one of their parents suffered from it. 

It was very humbling to me that Tammy said that she would take care of Mike for as long as she could even with her own diagnosis. She was just having symptoms of tremors and mild depression at the time, but said that she was trying to have a positive outlook on life to keep her brain as healthy as possible. She was part of an experimental drug trial that would hopefully slow the onset of her symptoms and give her a better quality of life for more years to come than without the drug. She described Huntington's on the video as the "monster disease", which I can understand after seeing so many of your loved ones struggle because of it and then to get the diagnosis yourself as well. It was described as a disease that has some symptoms of Alzheimers, Parkinson's disease, and ALS all in one. There is no cure for this disease currently, but maybe one day with more advancements, something more can be done for people with this dilapidating disease. 

Resource:

STAT. (2019, December 4). Living with Huntington's disease. [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fNrzYEl9G0

Neuro Note #3

For my third neuro note, I decided to compile a list of some websites that gives some general information, insight, and support about some of the neurological conditions that we are studying in our course. It is a quick little guide to information about commonly heard of diseases and conditions. Something that I found very encouraging while making this list was the support that seems to be out there for those that suffer from these diseases and the support for their family and caregivers. I hope that it helps them to know that they are not alone in their disease and situations. I am definitely planning on looking more into how to get involved with some of these organizations and foundations.

1. Dementia - https://www.dementia.com/index.html

This website contains a lot of information to help people understand dementia better with its                         diagnosis, prognosis, progression, symptoms, and many more topics.

2. Traumatic brain injury - https://www.biausa.org

This resource contains information about brain injuries, helpful tips for caregivers and professionals, ways to give if you want to help, and testimonials of others and information for those with a brain injury.

3. Cerebrovascular accident (CVA or stroke) - https://www.stroke.org/en

This website offers lots of good resources for things stroke related. There is information about what a stroke is, life after a stroke, and help and support for people that have suffered from a stroke. It also offers healthy living tips and ways to get involved with stroke prevention and in the community.

4. Spinal cord injury - https://facingdisability.com

This website is full of resources that offer general information about SCI and bedsores, videos of experts and people with SCIs, and numerous resources for adaptive equipment, support, advocacy and many other topics.

5. Multiple sclerosis - https://mymsaa.org

This website has information about MS and many supportive resources for those that have MS. It offers a whole section of things for living with MS and there are also ways to donate and get involved.

6. Huntington's disease - https://hdsa.org

This source offers information about Huntington's disease and its symptoms and stages. It also has help to find places to receive clinical care and other support, tips for healthy living, and information about research being done for the disease.

7. Parkinson's disease - https://www.apdaparkinson.org

This website has information on Parkinson's disease, resources for those living with the disease, and updated research and webinars about it. There are also ways to get involved with local events for the disease.

8. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) - https://www.als.org

This is the official ALS website and it has all things that relate to the disease on it. Some of the main sections are entitled "understanding ALS" and "navigating ALS" and are full of good information and useful resources.

9. Myasthenia gravis - https://myasthenia.org

This website offers general information about the disease so a person could understand it better, along with treatment options and tips on management of the disease. It also has lots of information that will hopefully help a person live a full life with myasthenia gravis.

10. Guillain-Barrè syndrome - https://www.gbs-cidp.org/gbs/

This website has great information on Guillain-Barrè with a very easy to follow video on the disease. It is a foundation that offers support to those that suffer from this condition and has ways that you can advocate and volunteer to get involved with the community of people.

Neuro Note #2

For my second neuro note, I chose to watch a Youtube video titled "Multiple Sclerosis-Breea's Story". I chose this because I have known some people personally that have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, but I do not have a clear understanding of what happens when MS is diagnosed and what the prognosis is. Breea was an 18 year old high school senior cheerleader when on December 8, 2011 she collapsed and was paralyzed on her left side within 24 hours of the incident after feeling unstable that morning. She was diagnosed at that point with a acute onset of MS and then became blind in her left eye and lost the ability to talk or swallow. She spent 6 weeks in the hospital where she received therapy services to hopefully get her back to herself. With support of her family and friends, she worked on things like feeding herself, writing, and walking. She gradually regained movement on her left side and her speech and swallowing returned. At day 46 after leaving the hospital, Breea started receiving therapy at home and in an outpatient clinic where she worked a lot of walking and grip/hand movement. At the end of the video, they showed her doing an assisted back hand spring 8 months after the initial diagnosis.

In an essay that Breea wrote for college, she talked about how her mom had told her that most people in her position would just be throwing a pity party for themselves and something that really stuck out to me was Breea's attitude and work ethic that she mentioned. She wanted so bad to get better and she responded to her mom that feeling sorry for herself was not going to make the lesions on her brain get better. She was a very hard worker throughout her initial recovery process that was shown and made such amazing gains because of that. She went on the graduate on time and start college at NAU.

In the description of her video, they included some facts about multiple sclerosis that I found very insightful and would like to share. MS is an autoimmune disease that takes its toll on the brain and spinal cord. The fatty, protective myelin sheaths that cover the nerves are attacked causing nerve signals to not fire as quickly or at all between the brain and rest of the body. This disease affects 2.5 million people worldwide with 400,000 of those in the US. Onset is low in young adults and even less in teens, with even fewer of those having an acute or severe onset such as Breea. I am sure that she is an inspiration to many and shows that healing is possible!


Resource:

Breeareneebeatsms. (2012, September 8). Multiple Sclerosis-Breea's Story. [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfD9s1_TN0s